This collection of poems is a map of my 37-year journey, not linear, not tidy, but real. This is the culmination of that chapter of my life. It's a trail of fragments and fractures, of raw truths and soft places to land. These poems are what remain when everything else falls quiet. They were and still are my voice when I was, and am, too afraid to speak. They are, in many ways, a return to that lakeside morning light, to the warmth of my grandmother's arms, and when I first realized language could be love.

A note to the reader:

This collection deals openly with sexual abuse, PTSD, suicidal ideation, homophobia, grief, and the aftermath of military service, as well as other LGBTQIA+ issues. These poems are my lived experience and are written in the context of those events. It can be quite dark at times. Be sure to do check-ins with yourself or your support network if they evoke certain feelings within you. It is never too late for someone to listen.

If you are struggling, help is available. Call or text 988 (Veterans: press 1). Text HOME to 741741 for the Crisis Text Line.

Seek guidance in your own county for similar assistance if not within the United States.