After years and years of fighting, arguing, drug over doses and suicide threats we had no idea of how we could make it through the next day. We were being held hostage by my 19 year old step daughter who would threaten to kill herself if she didn't get what she wanted.

We couldn't just give into her nor could we not take her threats seriously. In the midst of yet another argument, she played the "I'll kill myself" card again.

Being beyond the point of extreme frustration and hopelessness, I got up and walked calmly to our closet returning with my gun. I placed the gun in her lap, looked into her eyes and said, "Go ahead, just do it". I promised her we would give her a nice funeral and take good care of her remains. I then said "just do it or shut up about it".

She paused for a few moments and looked at the gun.

We were a normal middle class family living in the suburbs trying to have a regular life like anyone else. With years and years of fighting and battling, a normal life is one we didn't know would ever be possible.

I was first a married guy without kids then a step dad and eventually a father. I have seen the effects of divorce from many angles and the toll it takes on entire families and the kids. I saw it in my own home in ways I would never have believed. Mix in some mental issues and it was a raging battle.

Having experienced all that, I want to encourage families to think hard about what a family breakup can do to the family at large. My hope is that sharing my experiences might help families stick it out and reap the blessing of not having given up.