John J. Spadafora is at the peak of his financial career when his wife - distraught that he's forgotten the meaning of life - plans a vacation that changes their lifestyle and drives her husband stir crazy.

The city boy ends up buying a 213-acre dairy farm along with five cows that he spends three months trying to track down after they escape.

His new life becomes a nightmare, and his huge barn catches fire. He gets lost on his own property - and the fact that his neighbors have to find him is the least of his embarrassments.

Local residents are convinced that the author is part of the Mafia because he pays for everything with crisp hundred dollar bills - and they always ask what he's doing.

After five months of catastrophes, he begins talking to the trees, and by the sixth month, the trees start talking back. Finally, his wife realizes he needs to return to the city to regain his sanity.

Join the author on a hilarious journey that proves that you can go stir crazy and come back again.