My name is Lucifer and I was first...

...and, yes, I am that Lucifer. Fall from Heaven, Garden of Eden, ruler of Hell, blah blah blah. I am the one you condemned without - what do you call it? - a fair trial. Forget what you think you know: I want to tell my side of the story. The Road to Hell is all about how a pathetic group of short-sighted angels kicked me out of Heaven.

I'm sure you're curious, wondering 'why now?' Well, the Father has a book and it's been pretty successful, so I figured what the hell? Found a pile of dust to be my ghostwriter and gave it a go. After all, the story is fantastic! It has everything you clods of dirt crave: a love story, a little sex, intrigue. Murder. War. Lots of blood. And a real motive. You think it's all about you, don't you? I don't want you. I never wanted you. I want Him. Everyone else is just in the way...

So, let's get down to business or brass tacks or whatever colloquialism works for you. I have plenty to say and plenty of time: The Road to Hell is only the beginning. If you're interested in learning the real story, read on; if not, well, I'll see you soon.

- L