Behind a Smile is my story of survival. It is the candid and graphic account of my life; its past, scarred by abuse and neglect, bad choices and near disasters; and its present, with the heartbreaking pain of loss and grief and the devastating resurrection of an old evil.

As a small child, I always felt the presence of God in my life, protecting and guiding me in the midst of my darkness, my valley of the shadow. I was born into a legacy of fear passed down through generations of abuse to my father, who succumbed to that fear, which grew into cruelty.

Even as a child, I had hope--the hope for eternity--and a closeness to God that was simply a fact. I always just knew He was present in my life, and I carried that hope with me as I grew.

He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end. (Ecclesiastes 3:11)

Ever present in my life, always saving me from the worst.

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; He will never leave you or forsake you. (Deuteronomy 31:6)

My story, who I was, and who I am becoming, who God is creating me to be, is meant to shed light on how He strengthens us in the midst of our tragedies so that we can grow and feel His love for us.

See, I have refined you, though not as silver; I have tested you in the furnace of affliction. (Isaiah 48:10)

Behind every smile is a story.