From the beginning I always felt I didn't belong. My own parents didn't raise me, I felt unloved, unwanted, like it was my fault, the physical abuse, the sexual abuse, I thought everything was my fault, I didn't feel worthy of love and I took that feeling into a 25 year marriage that ended in divorce. I still felt broken & unworthy of love, but the one thing I did promise myself was that when I had kids of my own they would never experienced what I went through. I had to be the one that broke a vicious cycle and I did it. Life's began to look up for me, when I met my future husband on a blind date. Everything was so wonderful until March 7, 2014 when my world exploded into madness, my youngest son 35 was killed. My perfect world had fallen apart. I asked God "why him, why now?" Read how I found the resiliency to go on, I was heartbroken, how was I suppose to go on? How does any parent who loses a child move forward? I was much stronger than I ever thought I could be, but I survived and so can you.