The first thing I want all to understand is I never saw myself writing or anything that I do. Growing up i wanted to be a professional athlete had the heart the drive but i had no foundation so i never matured as a athlete i basically stopped pursuing my love for sports i love watching football and all but my life transformed like a rough stone made smooth over life's currents i basically felt a strong connection to God not like i just woke up and was like i got this, but honestly i cried a lot to be loved i never gave up talking about or to God almighty after i was exalted to heaven i was not in kansas anymore the power love mercy and grace destroyed every doubt everything wasn't crystal clear i was blinded for decades but mental illness drugs woman parting and ungodly living was being cleansed inwardly. It was more work to live a lie than live in the truthy must say God put His hunger for His word and His Holy spirit only comes when you are born again there's many that accept Jesus Christ then there's those who believe but are just afraid but be of good cheer, all you need is a tiny piece of your heart as small as a mustard seed. My book sole purpose isn't what i wont through or what i did or didnt do its about a loving God knowing my life's journeys and every single sin all those days itold God to leave me alone as the devil continued to feed me with lies and accusations of my sins and iniquities and telling me i committed high treason by condemning the Lord Jesus Holy Spirit even King david knew better than destroy the lords anointed so if you have doubts fears any sins or anything you did if you are reminded due what i did say yep i did it apologize to GOD sincerely and rise up dust yourself off and look up and keep your eyes on Christ and watch that mustard seed become a tree, mines a forest now through God's grace and i love my father in christ Jesus because honestly Muhamad Allah ghandi buddha anyone else cannot explain heaven hell or destroy death and sin the Lord of lords only accusation He was given was king of the Jews my God defeated death so as you can see only one God is in heaven through Him all creation was made through Christ Jesus so we are all created in His image holy and set apart for Gods glory as i see it if we all wrote books about our life the apostle was right the whole world couldn't contain go out my sisters and brothers rise up in faith hope and love allow love to change the most hardened, and for my four boys i'm so proud of you the day you four boys were born my heart exploded with joy i apologize with all my heart my only desires are for you to know how loving our God is i never stopped praying for you four daily i look at the local news to make sure it wasn't you that was involved in so many of my traumas but unfortunately you paid the price like me well that price is paid i take authority over my family and will conquer hell itself so do not fear i never left you i am you but your thankfully the better part of me so as far as im concerned i actually went through much worst just didn't think you all could handle all i went through mentally alone or spiritually physically or emotionally i sat on a seashore as the waves of my past crashed down on me it was God who sent me a lifesaver HIS NAME IS CHRIST MY RISEN LORD JESUS