Nessie Out of Water

Fletcher tossed his hair behind his shoulder and pointed to me.
"What's her story?"
A white grin came to the mouth of my toaster salesman lookalike.
"She's come to save you all."
The group focused on me, their faces frozen in hope, intrigue, and disbelief. I, of course, knew what eloquence such events required and punched Bran in the arm. "Well, that would have been kind of nice to know before you told everyone else, don't you think?"
Everyone let out a collective sigh. Oh, one of those heroes.

Awkward situations seem to seek out Nessie, a post-college secretary at a portable toilet rental company, like stalkers of a boy-band sensation. She has dealt with unstable roommates and an ever-present toaster salesman, but this one takes the cake.
Though her humdrum days of eating cereal alone at dinner have convinced Nessie that she has lost her purpose, the tides turn when she stumbles upon a mysterious sword. The sword transports Nessie to the parallel universe of Spoons, a land of castles and kingdoms, but more importantly: adventure.
During this quest, Nessie must outwit a kidnapping matchmaker, face the quips of an incredibly sarcastic companion, befriend a pink-haired hippie, and deal with romantic stirrings brought on by her partner-in-crime, the toaster salesman. There will be daring escapes, secrets unturned, inspirational pondering, and pointed questions on the quality of her cooking as Nessie comes to understand that God's plan and purpose, though sometimes different than expected, are always best.