I Am. abandoned

Alone? Abandoned? Misunderstood? Maybe misdiagnosed? Unloved? Scared... or even terrified? Angry? Ignored by God? If you relate to any of these, stop. You may relate. But you're not alone: I have been there. I have been misunderstood, thought I was abandoned, misdiagnosed, felt unloved and was and still sometimes am horrified.

Cancer at 8 months and then seizures and a phobia. My life was terror. I could go almost nowhere and do almost nothing. I went to neurologists who either did not treat what I was sure were seizures or sent me to psychological brain doctors who couldn't help me. So many people I loved and trusted said 'it was all just in my head'. The ones that I could trust and could love and who did love me, I hurt. I was so engulfed by my own huge, indescribable, unique pain that I didn't know how to sieve through who to run after or stick to.

And the God I had learned about in my Charismatic Pentecostal church allowed me to continue hurting. I prayed and screamed and cried but nothing. Where was this Jesus that 'loves all the children of the world'? When I needed God the most, God was absent.

And then it happened all over again in my adulthood. How do I fill the part of a wife and mom while living with a problem that I barely got through as a teenager? And throw in there some word of faith misinterpretation.

Blaire LaClare Koop's non-fiction, memoir/personal development book is geared towards teens -not just Christian teens either, it is broader than just that.And if you're a parent just trying to get through your own problem, this might be for you as well.

'Abandoned' includes 15 poems of terror and angst and several 20/20 hind sights. Find some company for your misery and more.