Let's Stick Together

Everyone has bad habits, but what Harry wants is for us to build good habits into our relationships and weed out the bad ones. He calls the bad habits – STOP signs, and the good habits – Love Language’s.

STOP SIGNS:
S – SCORING POINTS
Your partner raises a concern or criticism. You feel under attack and return fire. Harry advises: the gentlest, most sensible route is to apologise.

T – THINKING THE WORST
The assumption that behind a partner's harmless deed or omission lies a dark intent to get at you, gain some advantage or to do you down. Harry advises: face your fears and check the reality. Ask your partner if everything is OK or if something is troubling them.

O – OPTING OUT
The habit of avoiding conflict and disengaging from conversations. Harry advises: keep talking, hang in there and if it really is the wrong time to talk, ask for time out.

P – PUTTING DOWN
Expressing words or actions that are taken to be dismissive, critical, contemptuous or belittling. Harry advises: be aware of your own attitude and how that may be interpreted.

As well as stamping out the bad habits, Harry also wants to encourage love to grow in your relationship. Psychologist Gary Chapman has concocted five ways we show and give love to our partners, and he calls them Love Languages’. By recognizing each other’s language of love we can adopt it and speak it to them daily.

THE FIVE LOVE LANGAUGE’S:
TIME:
If you love someone, then you enjoy spending time with them above all else. This does not have to mean special activities or intimacy – just the act of being together is enough.

WORDS:
We need to be continually conversing with our partners. Communication is important and makes each of you feel connected and valued.

ACTIONS:
Doing something for your partner, such as a household chore or cooking a meal, shows love and caring.

GIFTS:
Use material gestures, not just an expensive gift but a note or something to confirm you are thinking about your partner.

TOUCH:
More than anything, physical contact conveys love and affection, be it a hug or a hand being held.

This book is a guide to steering away from family breakdown, just as Harry successfully managed earlier in his life. Contrary to popular belief, healing a broken or breaking marriage isn’t difficult – Harry says it’s not rocket science, it’s only takes a change in attitude. Adopting the STOP signs and Love Language’s are wants helping our nation to stick together.

“Let’s Stick Together has been fully revised and updated for new parents everywhere. More of a simple to follow quick-guide than a chunky manual, this relationship book will teach you the three universal ‘good’ habits to strengthen your relationship.”

“I’ve got good news and bad news. The bad news is the statistics show that family breakdown is high and only increases the older your children get. But the good news is you’re not alone, most family breakdowns are avoidable and you’re not a statistic. Harry Benson, the relationship expert, has poured all he knows into this little book condensing his researched solutions into three, practical habits.”

“There’s no shame in admitting you need help and its books like ‘Let’s Stick Together’ that can make a huge difference.”

Are you a new parent, or about to become one? Learn three simple habits that will keep love alive and protect your relationship against the pressures that parenting brings.

In the excitement and exhaustion of becoming parents, the first thing that can get overlooked is your relationship. You might spend less time together, argue over little things, drift apart...

In the UK, one in five children see their parents separate before the end of their first year at school. One in two children experience family breakdown before they finish school. But it doesn’t have to be like this. Most family breakdown is avoidable.

In Let’s Stick Together, relationship educator and father of six Harry Benson guides you through three simple habits that research shows make or break new mums and dads. Illustrated with real-life examples from Harry’s own back-from-the-brink marriage and those of other couples, Let’s Stick Together highlights simple principles that will make your relationship the best it can be and ensure you don’t become just another statistic.