The Emotionally Abusive Mindset: Its Effects and How to Overcome Them in Christ

From the Author

Friends, family, and church members are people who will be there for you, help you grow as a Christian, support you through difficult times, and want the best for you. I know countless people like this and am thankful for each and every one of them. But this is not always the case. Some people are treated in cruel or thoughtless ways by their spouses, carers, siblings, and even spiritual leaders. This is not how life is supposed to be; it is not how Christians should relate to other people.

During the thirty years that I have been involved in discipleship and biblical counseling, my heart has been broken numerous times by hearing about people being treated in abusive ways. The suffering of these people has caused me to take this issue seriously, believing that there must be answers in the Bible for them to trust the Lord in their situation. This led me to write the two previous books in the Overcoming Emotional Abuse series. These are entitled, The Emotionally Abuse Parent: Its Effects and How to Overcome Them in Christ and, The Emotionally Abusive Husband: Its Effects and How to Overcome Them in Christ. This third book seeks to explore the mindset behind emotional abuse and the behaviors involved across a spectrum of relationships. Inevitably some of the material in this book overlaps with the previous two books in the series in respect of what emotional abuse is and what it does.

How this book can help you

This book is a resource which provides insights into what emotional abuse looks like across a spectrum of relationships. It considers how someone with an abusive way of thinking tends to operate. The book does not cover physical or sexual abuse but is designed to give some key basic information. It would be helpful if other people would take these insights and explore biblical answers for helping them in an in-depth manner. The author's hope is that this book will help open this discussion.

What this book is not

A word of caution is necessary. Abusive situations are gravely serious and vary enormously. While insights have been suggested in this book, it is not the definitive answer about how to help abused people. It touches on subjects that are tremendously complicated, and where time is needed to address these areas in an in-depth manner to be able to effectively help people. Well-intentioned but unwise advice can cause suffering and damage lives. Wisdom and insight are required on a case-by-case basis - there are no standard cut-and-dried answers.