Martin Saunders Book: The Man You're Made to Be

We catch up with Youthscape's Martin Saunders and discuss his latest book, The Man You're Made To Be.

Please can you tell us a bit about your background?

I had a pretty unremarkable childhood, but it got interesting at about age 14 when I encountered Jesus, who – it turns out – is real. From then on I grew up in a Christian youth group, and after university I ended up focussing my whole life on Christian youth groups. Perhaps I should have branched out a bit, but I’m terrible at most other things. Anyway, I edited Youthwork magazine for a decade or so, launched a couple of conferences and magazines along the way, and then six years ago moved to the Christian youth work charity Youthscape, which is pretty much the most brilliant place I could ever hope to work.

You’ve written books for youth workers in the past, what made you decide to write a book for teens?

This is kind of the trajectory of my life at the moment. I seem to be enjoying a strangely back-to-front career; I got into working with leaders not long after graduating when you might imagine that’s the sort of thing you’d do later on. In the last couple of years I seem to have been working much more directly with young people. I consider that a promotion - genuinely - I am utterly convinced that the entire future of the world rests in the hands of the generation now growing up; why wouldn’t you want to focus your life on helping them? So this book is one small effort at doing that.

What do you think are the biggest issues facing today’s teenage boys?

There are many issues which are in some ways genderless, but which carry a specific challenge for boys. I think the biggest thing they have to navigate is what it actually means to be and become a man, in a world which has so many conflicting answers to that question. For some guys the pressure to conform to an age-old stereotype of gruff, emotionless red-meat gnawing can turn them into a thug when they could have been a poet; for others it leaves them questioning if they’re even in the right body. But the same is true of the opposite set of cultural pressures - guys can worry that because they like football and Indian food that must make them an oaf. Basically our culture is very confused about what a boy should be like; that makes it a hard place to grow up as one.

And what do you think are the best things about a teen boy in the UK today?

The best thing about being a teenage boy is that you have a chance to change the script. You don’t have to reinforce stereotypes, or perpetrate old wrongs around gender. You have a chance to empower, include, support and promote the next generation of women. My three sons are incredibly excited about watching the England women’s football team at Wembley next month. In truth that would have felt like a bit of a joke when I was growing up. That feels like progress.

The best thing about teen boys is that they’re finally starting to talk more openly about emotional and mental health. I have seen that change take place very recently; the book tries quite hard to promote that idea too. It’s not just a stereotype to say that men don’t talk about their feelings - there are some grim statistics which bear that out. I think it’s changing though, slowly.

What impact do you hope that 'The Man You're Made To Be' will have?

I hope it’ll help young (and not so young) guys to think about what kind of person they really want to be, and that it’ll give them the tools to process what that looks like in practice. The dream would be for someone to come up to me five years from now and say: “hey, that book you wrote really helped me to figure some stuff out.” It’s nice to hear that people laugh at the jokes and all that, but really I want to help people to think about their character and purpose in life. The thing that has really surprised me about the book is that it’s found an audience which is much older than the one I wrote it for. I pitched it at 16-18; many of the guys who’ve really liked it have been 25-40.

What’s the best advice you were given as a teenager?

“Just try a bit of the curry.” Seriously, I was incredibly fussy as a kid, and a youth leader insisted that I try a bit of the dinner she’d kindly cooked for me. I still remember the first bite; I was like a cartoon character; or the YouTube clip of there toddler who tries bacon for the first time. There’s a serious point there – I’ve had to force myself to take risks ever since; it doesn’t come easily. This story is also the explanation for why I’m a little cuddlier than other men.

Anything else you’d like to share?

I’m not very good at promotion, and that meant that when this book came out even my friends were like “you’ve written a book?!” So let me say this here, and at least some people will know in advance - I have a new book coming out at the end of 2020. It’s a sort of simple explanation of the Christian life for teenagers - and not just boys this time. I’m very excited about it.

Thank you, Martin! We can't wait to get hands on your new book in 2020 either.

The Man You're Made to Be is available now, and would make a perfect gift for a teenage boy this Christmas!