Ask Derek the Cleric: How to avoid 'huggers'?

Posted by The Editor  ·  Be the first to comment

Derek the Cleric continues to answer the big questions in our day. Today he helps those concerned about over-enthusiastic 'huggers'!

Darryn Lloyd from Australia asks...

"Dear Derek How it is best to avoid the ever-present huggers?"

Dear Mr Lloyd

'Huggers' (Christians who have a proclivity to seek every opportunity to embrace anything that moves) are to be found in almost every church, so moving to another place of worship will almost certainly not solve the problem.

Be warned! These affable engulfers of the human form have a particular penchant for homing in on those of a less tactile disposition. The slightest hint of unease or twitchiness on your part will immediately alert them to your proximity and thus your claustrophobic fate is inevitable. You may think that you can avoid their innocent clutches but you are very much mistaken. Soon enough all will fall victim to their emboldened 'bodily bonhomie'.

But fear not, my antipodean congregant, all is not completely lost.

A firm handshake, being the top end of the scale of my preference for social contact, I have developed what I consider to be a foolproof means by which to stave off the threat of a 'hugger's' bear-like grip.

Having had the good fortune to purchase a secondhand badge making kit at St Cliff's recent 'bring and buy' sale (you will no doubt have guessed already that our ever-present Roof Fund was the grateful beneficiary) I hit upon producing a badge bearing the familiar (yet slightly foreboding) 'radiation' symbol beneath which I placed the words (in the rather authoritative Helvetica Bold typeface) 'I love (but utilising the ubiquitous 'heart' symbol) Nuclear Power Stations'.

I have found that even the most ardent of huggers will shown undue restraint when faced with the possibility of imminent irradiation.

I trust that this has been of some help but failing that may I proffer a spot of time honoured wisdom. 'If you can't beat them join them.'

Onward and upward

Derek

Derek the Cleric is the fictitious creation of award-winning writer and illustrator Andy Robb. Find out more about Derek the Cleric (and Andy Robb) on Derek's Facebook page:facebook.com/derektheclericsquirkyworld

13th April

April 13th, 2012 - Posted & Written by The Editor

Thumbs Down0
Thumbs Up0

Did you find this article useful?

0 Visitor Comments

Join in the Eden community and comment on this article

Leave A Comment

Leave your comments or suggestions in regards to this article.

Most Popular Articles
The Insanity of God Review
Posted on Tuesday 23rd of May
WONDER: Hillsong UNITED's new 2017 album
Posted on Friday 19th of May
Cycling Out of The Comfort Zone Review
Posted on Thursday 18th of May
Do You Believe? UK Release Date
Posted on Tuesday 16th of May
The Insanity of God Review
Posted on Tuesday 23rd of May
WONDER: Hillsong UNITED's new 2017 album
Posted on Friday 19th of May
Cycling Out of The Comfort Zone Review
Posted on Thursday 18th of May
Do You Believe? UK Release Date
Posted on Tuesday 16th of May
The Ultimate Guide To.... Classic Christian Books
Posted on Saturday 15th of April
What Are Eden Bundles?
Posted on Friday 11th of November
Creating an all age, fun, and messy church
Posted on Wednesday 28th of March

Updates from the live @Edencouk twitter feed!

Twitter Seperator
Don't forget to follow us @edencouk
Recent Article Comments
No Comments.

Nia Wright has made 0 posts.

34 useful comments

A Reader has made 2 posts.

21 useful comments

Les Ellison has made 52 posts.

10 useful comments

Lyn Myers has made 5 posts.

8 useful comments

James Warwood has made 4 posts.

8 useful comments

Last updated: 24 mins ago